Why Does My Kid Want to Wear the Same Thing Every Day?

I always imagined myself with two perfectly styled kids looking like they were fresh out of a photo shoot for babies. But when you’re in the trenches of parenthood with two kids under the age of 3, those idealized images go right out the window—especially when you have a toddler with very strong opinions about what they want to wear every day.

When my daughter was about 2 or 3-years-old she had a blue princess nightgown she wanted to wear every day. (It looked more like a comfy dress than a nightgown). I often relented if we weren’t going anywhere special because it was so much easier than trying to convince her to wear something else. One day, I even allowed her to wear it to the grocery store. My mom, of course, was appalled, and we might have received a few double-takes at the store, but with two little ones I just didn’t have the energy to battle over what she was wearing.

Years later, I discovered that challenges like this are not that uncommon—and the majority of time, you don’t have to sweat it. In fact, as toddlers begin to develop their identity—and their independence—it’s not all that unheard of to have a battle or two over what they’re wearing. For the most part, this insistence on wearing the same thing is actually pretty normal. Here’s what experts say you need to know about the tendency of toddlers to want to wear the same thing. Every. Single. Day.

Why Kids Insist on Wearing The Same Thing Over and Over

Toddlers and preschoolers like things that are familiar to them. They may wear the same clothes, read the same books, or watch the same movies as sameness is predictable and predictable is comforting, says Alicia Goodman, PhD, a psychologist with Phoenix Children’s. 

“They are learning so many new things every day that having something they already understand and can predict reduces the overload on their sensory and learning systems,” she explains. 

Wearing the same thing also frees them up to spend their attention and focus on learning new things, she says. It also can give them a sense of security as well as allow them the opportunity to assert their budding independence. Kids at this age also are learning autonomy—in other words, the fact that they are separate from their parents. They also are starting to form their identity and love to assert them newly formed opinions.

“It is also important for them to learn how it feels to be a little chilly or a little warm, so if they want to wear a heavy winter jacket in the middle of summer, let them,” she says. “They will learn from the experience and make a better choice for themselves next time.”

Why Your Child May Resist Wearing Something New

Some kids can be pretty stubborn about what they wear, and if you’ve ever had a child insist on wearing the same shirt for days on end or refuse to wear something new, other parents raising toddlers are likely going through the same thing, says says Mikki Lee Elembaby, PsyD, an associate psychotherapist at a Manhattan-based practice, Clarity Therapy NYC. 

“A lot of this comes down to control,” says Elembaby. “Toddlers and preschoolers are in a stage where they want to [make choices], and clothing is one of the few areas where they have a say. If they’re told they have to wear something, their natural response may be to push back. Sensory sensitivities can also play a role—some kids just can’t stand the way certain fabrics or seams feel.”

Why it might actually be okay to let them have their way

Young kids find familiarity comforting, and wearing something new disrupts that familiarity. Just try to remind yourself that clothing battles are a normal part of growing up, and understanding why they happen can make them easier to navigate, she says. 

“I think a good rule of thumb is if it is not causing your child any harm, it is probably OK to just let it go,” says Elembaby. “It’s also one of the first ways they exert independence and self-expression—choosing their own clothes is a way of saying, ‘This is who I am!’”

What’s Up With Kids Taking Forever to Get Dressed?

For toddlers and preschoolers, the process of getting dressed can involve much focus and strategizing, says Goodman. And sure, that can be frustrating for parents who are obviously much more cognizant of schedules and find it much more necessary to adhere to them. But if its any comfort to the mom tapping her foot at the door while her kid picks out a shirt, your toddler lingering at the dresser is completely developmentally normal. 

They are still learning how to get dressed

Toddlers are learning how to choose the clothing they will wear, the colors, and even matching accessories. They also are sorting out if they want long or short sleeves, shorts, or pants. Once they are dressed, they may need to check to be sure their shirt is not inside out or their pants are not on backward, she adds.

For this reason, taking forever is not always intentional, explains Sara F. Douglas, PsD, a neuropsychologist specializing in the assessment of the learning, emotional, and behavioral profiles of children, adolescents, and adults. 

“The complexities of buttons, snaps, and zippers are important considerations here,” she says. “Those are fine motor skills that take time to develop.”

Getting dressed requires executive function

What’s more, the process of getting dressed (old clothes off, old clothes away, new clothes selected, new clothes on) is not as basic, neurocognitively, as we may assume it to be as adults who have been doing all this for far longer than toddlers, she adds. Remember, getting dressed also involves executive functions like planning and sequencing.

“No behavior or act is simple when dealing with such young kids, but there are cognitive complexities here as well,” says Douglas.

Time is more fluid for toddlers

Finally, the concept of time is somewhat nonexistent for a toddler. “The difference between two minutes and 15 minutes is not easily differentiated,” explains Goodman. “Therefore, the shiny toy that just caught their eye or the idea they just had to stack blocks or look at a book, might seem more important—and more enjoyable—in the moment than carrying out the task of getting dressed.”

Should You Ever Be Concerned?

It’s normal for kids to be indecisive about what to wear, or for them to highly favor one garment over another. Clothing is one of the first areas where kids learn to express autonomy and test boundaries, so it can sometimes turn into a power struggle between kids and parents. However, pay attention if you notice your child is consistently avoiding certain textures or types of clothing, or they are having to make a decision about what to wear leads to a meltdown. 

“For example, changing their outfit five or more times every morning,” says Goodman, “with the battles ending in tears or anger many times a week—this can be a concern.” 

Goodman says other red flags may include:

• Appearing rigid and persistent when asked to wear something else
• Failing to outgrow the desire to wear the same thing over and over
• Refusing to deviate or make any changes from a strict routine
• Crying, screaming, or acting out physically
• Experiencing tantrums lasting more than 15 minutes
• Struggling to learn different ways of handling emotions

When to seek professional advice

These types of dynamics can be a developmentally appropriate stage for some toddlers that they will grow out of, but if parents are at all concerned about their kids’ behavior, they shouldn’t hesitate to reach out to a professional for answers, as it might signal something deeper. 

“In my work with children, I’ve also seen that for kids on the autism spectrum,” says Elembaby.  “These behaviors can sometimes be a sign of rigidity—where changing an outfit causes real distress. But for most typically developing kids, it [should be] just a phase.”

If your child can’t wear anything besides one specific outfit and becomes extremely distressed when it’s unavailable, it might be worth checking in with a pediatrician or child psychologist.

“This kind of rigidity can sometimes be a sign of anxiety or sensory processing challenges,” adds Elembaby.  “But for most kids, their ‘favorite t-shirt phase’ eventually fades.”

Strategies for Getting Your Kids Dressed—Without a Battle

The experts we spoke with all agree that the first step in addressing the clothing battle is to ask your child directly why they wear the same things repeatedly. Perhaps it is simply because they really like it and feel good wearing this item, says Elembaby. 

“As long as it doesn’t impact their general functioning in a negative way, the best thing to do is to make sure that their beloved items are clean,” she says. 

Here are some more strategies that could be helpful—and make morning go a little smoother:

• Give choices: When their favorite item is not an option, let them pick between two or three outfits so they feel in control, suggests Elembaby.
• Plan ahead: Choosing clothes together the night before can cut down on morning battles. Also, if you think it should take five minutes to get dressed, Goodman suggests allowing 10 minutes in your schedule. You also can use visual timers to help your child visually reference the passing of time, she says.
• Set expectations: If there are rules about when they have to wear something specific—like a coat in winter or a more formal outfit for a special occasion—Elembaby suggests being consistent and informing your child of those guidelines ahead of time.
• Turn it into a game: Goodman says that “trying to get dressed before Mommy” was a popular game in her home.
• Take out some steps: Douglas suggests putting the hamper next to the dresser and having them pick their clothes out the night before. “Make sure to praise, with specific language, their successes,” she says.
• Use reward charts: Reinforce and motivate positive behaviors that you would like to see repeated with a reward chart, suggests Goodman. “If trying new things is exceptionally difficult, give lots of positive praise for trying or wearing something new.”