7 Values To Teach Your Child by Age 10

Parents always hope to instill meaningful values in their children as they grow and navigate the world. Among the many life lessons kids learn, certain core values are especially important to introduce by age 10—before they enter tricky teenage years when these principles are often put to the test.

Of course, teaching values like honesty or respect can feel daunting. But rather than tackling them all at once, parents can reinforce these lessons through small, intentional moments in daily life. Here’s how to identify these opportunities and make these values stick.

Honesty

Children begin experimenting with lying as early as 2 or 3 years old, so the earlier you address the importance of honesty, the better. Teaching kids to be truthfulness—with parents, peers, and themselves—can help establish a strong foundation for integrity as they grow. Here’s some tips for teaching honesty:

• Model honest behavior: Children learn values by observing the people around them. To develop a truthful disposition, model honesty in your daily interactions. Even young kids pick up on small inconsistencies, so seemingly harmless white lies—like saying you’re out of cookies—can send mixed messages.
• Praise moments of honesty: Reinforce the importance of truthfulness by praising your child when they tell the truth, especially in difficult situations. Let them know that honesty is valued and appreciated.
• Give them a second chance to be truthful: Young children, especially toddlers, may lie to avoid punishment. Instead of reacting harshly, create a space where they feel safe to correct their fib. If they admit the truth, praise their honesty, while still addressing the misbehavior. This helps them understand that while actions have consequences, telling the truth is always the right choice.

Accountability

Accountability is a crucial value for children to learn, as it helps them take responsibility for their actions and understand the impact of their choices. Here’s how to instill accountability in everyday life:

• Make consequences clear: “Parents have an unspoken contract with their kids about their behavior. It’s important that kids know ahead of time that if there are rules that they break, there will be consequences,” says Laikind. Setting clear expectations helps children understand that their actions have outcomes—both positive and negative.
• Talk early and often about family values: Moral reasoning—deciding what’s right when faced with an ethical dilemma—can feel a little abstract for younger kids. However, as your child matures into grade school and beyond, discussing family values helps in real-time situations helps them navigate peer pressure and more complex problems.
• Role-play scenarios before your kid heads to school: While accountability starts at home, the true test begins when kids must take ownership of their actions in school or social setting without a parent always guiding the way.

“Simple values of education are not enough. What is more important than instilling values on a case-by-case basis is teaching kids how to problem-solve in alignment with their values.” says Lauren Ford, PsyD, a pediatric psychologist in Los Angeles.

Curiosity

Around age 4, many children start asking big “why” questions. While some are as lighthearted as, “Why is the sky blue?” —others quickly venture into the philosophical, such as, “Why do people hate each other?” Nurturing your child’s curiosity helps them develop critical thinking skills and a deeper understanding of the world.

Here’s how to help your child develop curiosity in meaningful ways:

• Give plenty of space and airtime for their questions: According to Jana Mohr Lone, PhD, director of the University of Washington Center for Philosophy for Children, encouraging your child to ask and explore tough questions builds their confidence in thinking independently. “I don’t think we really introduce philosophy to children. We introduce the nomenclature, but they’re already asking these questions,” she says. “We’re just providing a space to do it with each other and helping them to get better at [evaluating these questions].”
• Don’t be afraid to say, ‘I don’t know’: “Even if you think you do have the answers, don’t be too quick to share them,” says Dr. Mohr Lone. Instead of immediately giving explanations, try exploring the answer together. “If we can drop for just a moment the role of authority and advisor and be a co-inquirer with them, it really does add another dimension to your relationship.”
• Share personal stories and experiences: Dr. Mohr Lone emphasizes that both you and your child can learn a lot from bringing curiosity to the table, as you can offer an outlook based on your life experience, while they can see things in a more open and imaginative way.

Respect

Respect is a crucial value for children to develop, especially as they enter the classroom. It applies to everyday interactions, like waiting their turn to speak and following a teacher’s directions, as well as more complex concepts, such as understanding perspectives that are different than their own.

Here’s how to help your child build respect for others:

• Modeling listening skills at home: When Dr. Mohr Lone introduces philosophy to students of all ages, she is always inspired by how eagerly children listen to each other’s opposing views. Parents can encourage this skill by practicing active listening at home. Try pausing for a few beats after your child shares a thought before jumping in with feedback. This shows them that their words are valued and teaches them to extend the same courtesy to others.
• Talk about differing perspectives with care: While parents naturally want their kids to carry certain values, it’s also important for kids to learn how to respect those who see the world differently.

Empathy

A child’s ability to understand and connect with others’ feelings lays the foundation for strong relationships. That’s why empathy is often a core value for families. Help kids become more empathetic with these approaches:

• Incorporate caring language into play: Playtime is a powerful opportunity to teach values in a natural, low-stakes environment. Through pretend play, cooperative games, or storytelling, kids can explore different perspectives and practice kindness.
• Don’t stop at “sorry”: In the pursuit of conceptualizing empathy for her son, Dr. Ford doesn’t demand that he say sorry but rather she guides him to see his actions had an impact on somebody else. “We’re trying to provide in vivo coaching and experience to help him understand what empathy even means, so he’s thinking about himself and his effect on other people,” explains Dr. Ford.
• Model empathy through your own actions and activities: Children learn best by example. Whether through acts of kindness, volunteering, or simply showing patience and understanding in daily interactions, parents can demonstrate the power of empathy.

Determination

Determination is often mistaken for boldness—a trait associated with outgoing and adventurous personalities. In reality, determination is about perseverance, resilience, and the willingness to keep trying, even faced with challenges. Build determination with these strategies:

• Give them space to struggle: One of the biggest obstacles to a child’s determination is a helicopter parent. While it’s natural to want to help your child succeed, stepping in too quickly can rob them of valuable problem-solving experiences. Determination thrives when children are given opportunities to work through challenges, make mistakes, and learn from them.
• Offer encouragement without over-praising: Determination through trial and error, but finding the right balance between discipline and praise is key. While not every effort requires ample praise, those with room for improvement can benefit from ongoing support, even if it involves gentle feedback.

Open Communication

One of the most valuable lessons a parent can teach is open communication. When children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, needs, and concerns, they are more likely to build strong relationships and navigate challenges with confidence. Here are ways to foster open communication:

• Encourage kids to regularly share their thoughts: Even if your child is shy, creating a home environment where communication is valued can set them up for success in grade school and beyond. An introverted personality is not necessarily a negative thing, but as a parent, you should explore ways for your kid to communicate their needs in their own way. Whether it’s checking in on how their day was after school or engaging in a subject that excites them, there’s always an avenue to foster connection.
• Branch out in conversations with your kids: Amid daily small talk, Dr. Mohr Lone found value in bringing up philosophical concepts with her sons. “Because of all those conversations we had early in life, there’s this mutual respect and openness between us that has been true always—even through those bumpy teenage years,” she says.