Toddlers definitely put the “asking” in multitasking–and if you’ve ever had the pleasure of flying solo with more than one of them, you’ve no doubt experienced one of the levels of the parenting hunger games.
Particularly, driving with toddlers can carry its own special flavor of frustration that supersedes even the most well-intentioned preparation. You thought you packed rain jackets? Those are the ones from two months ago that no longer fit. You thought you had snacks? The kids only like the peanut granola bars, not the almond granola bars you brought. You thought you left the house in enough time to avoid being late? It turns out your kid does really have to pee, even though they said they didn’t two minutes prior.
When I think of what captures the chaos of driving with toddlers fairly well, I think of this expertly empathetic Instagram video from Parents collaborator Dante (@thebrilliantdad).
Let’s all take a deep breath in solidarity.
Okay, now let’s discuss three of the issues we face while driving with toddlers, and how multitasking–while mostly successful–failed to fend off the frustration that arrived well before Dante and his toddlers arrived at their destination.
Issue 1: Fighting
If you grew up with a sibling or you have kids who are siblings and they’ve never fought while in the car, congrats (and also, stop lying). It doesn’t seem like they’ve gotten far before dad Dante has to turn around and tell his kids to stop fighting for the [blank] time. While driving, you can only ignore it for so long before it can get dangerously distracting.
Is there really a solution to this? Well, according to a child psychologist, there could be.
The solution?
In our article about how to stop siblings from fighting, Jeff Garofano, PhD, a child psychologist at Johns Hopkins Children’s Center says it’s about positive reinforcement and demonstrating healthy conflict resolution for kids, among other things. He also says understanding sibling dynamics and remembering this season of their relationship is likely temporary helps in the long term.
In the short term? Have a distraction handy (a toy, a tablet, etc.) to take their attention off one another until you get to where you’re going.
Issue 2: Reaching
Learning to reach behind you while the car is in motion to get a fallen toy or water bottle that your child is now screaming about is a right of passage. Bonus points if you can do it without dislocating your shoulder. As I watch Dante gather his resolve to reach in the backseat and once again give his kid a toy, all I can think is, “That was me just this morning.”
Nonetheless, we don’t need to get into the dangers of doing this while driving–even if those dangers are preferable to your kid’s screams.
The solution?
Organization. And if organization isn’t your first language, get an organizer to help you out. This roundup of the best car organizers out there will definitely help families (or solo parent drivers) in a pinch. We’re particularly partial to the car backseat organizer on the list.
Issue 3: Spilling
Let’s face it: If you got toddlers, you got spills. And if you got toddlers in the car, you definitely got spills. No. Matter. What.
But I can’t cosign Dante’s tactic of pouring a bowl of cereal while driving, or holding a lidless cup. There are dad hacks, and then there are just don’ts.
The solution?
I gotta say, as a dad who’s idea of meal-prep was remembering which DoorDash gift card had the highest balance left, I’m glad we have helpful articles like these–which encourage you to use (and reuse) much of what you already have made. And if the idea of carrying large boxes of cereal and bowls from the kitchen cabinet on the road doesn’t appeal to you, these meal-prep containers will do the job.
No, doing this likely won’t cut down on the number of spills, but it just might cut down on the number of potential car crashes.
Bottom line: Like Dante, we’re all doing our best out here–and even if multitasking feels like the way to go, remember there likely are better ways. So if you happen to look over into the next lane and see a fellow parent with a kid or two in the backseat, try not to judge. Just give them a nod of encouragement.