I am a person who is very worried about things that have already happened in the past. Because my past wasn’t going that well, I didn’t live with my parents even though they were alive, and I didn’t know how family life could be.
Also, I faced a lot of psychological issues in my teenage years and I couldn’t focus on my studies. I couldn’t pursue my desired college degree, because I scored low marks in my school.
I fell in love with a girl, but that did not go as well as I expected. After completing college, I couldn’t find a job; I have been unemployed for a year. At certain points, I couldn’t manage those things. I got very depressed and despised living a life.
I practiced some bad habits to escape from reality and became addicted to them. Also, I plan to end my life, Because I couldn’t find any meaning in that.
These things may not be a big deal. Yeah, I heard most people used to say that. The important thing is not how many problems you have but how much energy you have to go through.
Even though those things happened in the past, they didn’t let me live in the present. Most of the time, I felt cursed and unlucky. Every morning, I don’t have the answer to the question, “Why do I have to wake up from bed?” So many days, struggling to sleep at night and sleeping late in the morning caused serious trouble in my day-to-day life.
I planned to end my life countless times, but I never tried that. Because I wanted to see the other side of my life, I was just in my 20s. I hoped it would be good. After a year, time changed most of the things in my life. I got some understanding about life.
One day night while sky-watching, I contemplated Human Life and its role in the world. Compared to the Universe, human existence is insignificant. The human lifetime is just a fraction of a second compared to the age of the earth.
Our existence and our works in existence will vanish one day, like never before. And worrying about things, that never happened before is foolishness. Our life on earth is very limited, So Instead of dwelling on the past. Why we should not restart our lives like the things that never happened before?
Compared to the vastness of the world, Human existence is very insignificant. The things that insignificant humans fret about are petty indeed.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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