Dating is hard. Rejection is scary and it hurts like hell. The idea of approaching women is nerve-wracking. The risk of being seen as a creep is mortifying.
Even if you do end up getting a first date, you need to spend so much time, money, and effort just for a chance to get ghosted.
Even if you do end up in a relationship, you need to spend even more time, money, and effort just for a chance to get cheated on or dumped.
Why try at all?
There’s porn. You can satisfy your own sexual needs, right?
There’s AI chatbots and dudes who get paid to pretend to be female OnlyFans models to chat with you. You can have your emotional needs met by talking to them, right?
Why try traditional dating with real human women when you can get everything you need at your fingertips with zero effort?
The truth is…
There is something incomparable about entering the warm, human embrace of a woman who loves and understands you.
An article by Jessey Anthony brilliantly highlights this irreplaceable feeling:
True intimacy goes far beyond physical pleasure. In hindsight, men believe being welcomed into a woman’s body offers a deep sense of peace and homecoming, fulfilling something far greater than mere desire.
Constantly wanting sex is often just part of the mask men wear to prove their masculinity.
But beneath that, what they truly crave is a place of refuge — a safe harbor where they can let down their guard and simply be.
…Once they’re truly seen, accepted, and welcomed into a woman’s embrace, they can finally exhale — relax, be themselves, and feel an unspoken kind of love. That’s the hidden longing behind their physical desire.
If you’re only having sex as a means of ejaculating without an emphasis on the vulnerable connection it builds with a woman or, worse, if you’re only relying on the physical stimulation of porn and masturbation as a substitute for physical intimacy, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to experience the beautiful two-way street of truly feeling at home in the hearth of love.
This is a feeling that no AI chatbot or dude pretending to be the OnlyFans model you’re chatting with can truly replicate.
It’s a vital piece of life that you cannot afford to forego. Men “going their own way” to live off the grid by themselves while hunting bears or whatever are robbing themselves of the chance at the most beautiful experience they can ever have.
And don’t get me started on all the scientific studies out there that show how much men benefit from marriage. I’m sure you’ve seen all that already. Just google “marriage benefits men science” if you haven’t. It’s pretty common knowledge by now.
For many men, it’s a matter of sour grapes.
They find it difficult to find or keep a partner. They think it’s something for men who are richer, taller, more handsome, or blessed in some other way they can never be.
They see “incel” or “black pill” or even “red pill” content online and it just exacerbates their defeatist attitudes. They buy into the lie that getting women is all about looks, money, and status. And then they decide that it’s just not worth the hassle if they don’t have those things.
Anyone who’s had a real taste of love will tell you that the “hassle” is absolutely worth it. It’s worth everything in the world and then some.
It doesn’t even have to be a hassle.
The good news is that those defeatists who think it’s all about looks, money, and status are just plain wrong.
I have none of those things, but I have walked a journey of unending hedonism and romance for most of my adult life because I found another way:
And I am far from the only one who has done this.
The path that I and so many others have followed is easily replicable. Anyone can do what I’ve done. Yes, even you.
It all starts with understanding women better, with admitting to yourself that there are things about women that you might be misunderstanding, then seeking understanding from a place of empathy and compassion:
Only then can you open yourself up to the truth of how men and women experience attraction in different ways.
And only then can you learn how to take advantage of those differences in how you communicate with women:
Most people will call what I’m talking about “flirting” or “game” or even “seduction” if we want to get spicier. The Gen Z kids are calling it “rizz” these days.
Whatever you call it, there are ways that you can think, behave, and speak that can make you magnetic and irresistible to women even if you’re a short and poor nobody like me.
Looks, money, and status? Those things can certainly help, but those factors pale in comparison to what I’m talking about.
But learning how to flirt/game/seduce/rizz is so hard! Wahh!
There’s a learning curve to it, but it’s a lot simpler than most people make it out to be.
Why?
It’s simple because there is a way to do it all on autopilot, to be your most attractive self without even trying.
The secret is to simply change the way you think and build good habits, one by one. Just start with one and the momentum will start carrying you:
If you haven’t thought to start investing in yourself in this way already, there’s no better time to start than now.
Have you ever seen any men who don’t have “looks, money, and status” but are successful with women? Let me know in the comments!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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The post Don’t Need a Girlfriend? Think Again. appeared first on The Good Men Project.