I am sitting in a quiet house somewhere in the Yorkshire mountains.
A fire burns in front of me.
And for the first time in a long time, I realise I have actually stepped into a life I once only imagined.
Why?
Because I am a girl who had a dream. I’ve had that dream for a long time, and now I am sitting inside it. My wonder became reality, despite world going a little crazy outside.
The funny thing is, I was so occupied with living that only now, as I sit opposite this beautiful fireplace, I realise that I have actually manifested this moment.
Through the busyness of everyday life, I kept visualising myself in nature, surrounded by peace and like-minded people — a place to survive the chaos. Yet I never realised until now that it had quietly come true.
I booked this weekend in December. I didn’t give it much though at the time. I simply saw a circle of women, meditation, yoga…and went for it.
I made a decision.
I didn’t overthink it — the usual thoughts: how will I manage, I can’t afford it, the kids, responsibilities…
And now I am here. Gobsmacked. A little surprised.
Manifestation does work.
One way or another, without force, I decided to give myself love.
There are no butterflies.
But something far more powerful.
A human — tired, happy, hopeful, real — with dark circles under her eyes and a few wrinkles here and there.
A human who is realising she may have found balance — the golden key to life. Not happiness or constant excitement but simply balance.
Neither side overwhelming the other.
This weekend, for the first time in a while, I choose rest over pressure, peace over noise, and honesty over pretending. I allowed myself to slow down, breathe, and simply be.
I am not here to prove anything.
This is about coming back to myself — listening to my body and soul and honouring them without guilt.
When was the last time you honoured yourself?
When was the last time you listened within and answered with care?
Without excuses. With simple permission for your own existence.
Despite feeling tired and weighted down by life, I suddenly feel hopeful. I feel like life is worth living again, like I am regaining the strength to keep going.
On Thursday I felt fed up. I didn’t know what to do or where to go.
Today is Saturday.
And I feel like I have wings to fly.
What changed?
I made a decision for me.
I didn’t choose a completely new direction.
I simply stopped walking in survival mode and started walking by choice.
Because the truth is, we are not here to search for love.
We are here to realise we are the love.
And if we look after ourselves and tend to our own being, we can go further than we ever thought possible.
Yet most of the time, we just keep going.
Without stopping.
I want you to know this:
You’re allowed to say,
“This is hard and I’m tired.”
Without it meaning you’re not coping.
Without it meaning you’re depressed.
Without it meaning you’re failing.
You are not failing.
You are simply acknowledging the present moment.
And instead of the world giving you thousands of ways to heal, maybe you only need one.
Listen within.
Allow the voice inside you to come through.
Sit with it for a moment… and who knows where it might take you.
Don’t let the world erode the part of you that can still see the wonder.
Protect it.
Nurture it.
Because one quiet decision to choose yourself may not give you butterflies.
But it might just give you wings.
With Love
Patrycja
Writer and spiritual seeker. Embracing the wonder in healing, love and life. Storyteller on a journey of finding ‘’me’’ and who the real ‘’me’’ really is.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Benjamin Hayward On Unsplash