Mother-In-Law Refuses to Use Grandchild’s Real Name

A new mom and her mother-in-law are sparring following one of the most puzzling disagreements we’ve come across on Reddit. The issue? The mother-in-law decided to adopt a name of her choosing for her new grandchild because she didn’t like the name his parents gave him—and that’s on his birth certificate. 

The mom complained about the wild feud on Reddit’s AITA forum, where she explained how the situation started and how she reacted when the objectionable behavior didn’t stop.

Why the Mother-in-Law Refuses to Call Grandchild By His Real Name

“My husband (34M) and I (31F) recently had our first child, a son we named Elijah,” the mom explained in her post. “We put a lot of thought into his name, we loved the meaning, and it just felt right.” She went on to say that while her MIL didn’t “gush” over the name, she didn’t take issue with it, until she met the baby.

The post continued, “The first time she met Elijah at the hospital, she looked at him and said, ‘Oh little David you’re so perfect'” While the new mom says she initially thought she misheard, MIL continued using the name David which came, seemingly, out of nowhere. When asked why she was calling the baby David, OP’s mother-in-law replied that it “suits him better”.

Given how special having your first baby is, and how meaningful it feels to give them a name you love, the idea of the MIL coming up with her own name and proceeding to use it feels astonishingly rude, inconsiderate, and honestly, just really strange—and in front of the new parents no less, no even in the privacy of her own home. 

Aside from being straight up rude, if the misnaming went on for too long enough, the child might be confused as to why his grandmother refused to call him by his actual name, especially because it doesn’t even closely resemble his name. It’s not like a cute nickname, like a shortened version of his real name, which might have been more acceptable to the parents. 

How Mom Reacted to Her Mother-in-Law’s Shocking Behavior

Still, mom seemed to keep her cool despite being annoyed. At least, until a family dinner. 

“The final straw was when she came over for a family dinner and kept referring to him as David in front of everyone. My SIL asked, ‘Wait… why do you keep calling him David?’ and MIL just laughed and said, ‘Because that’s his name to me.'”

Mom snapped, losing her cool after putting up with her MIL’s blatant disrespect for too long. She told MIL if she wasn’t going to call her baby by his name, she could leave. But now another problem has arisen: The new mom’s husband is saying she overreacted. Commenters don’t seem to agree, however. Most feel like MIL’s behavior was completely out of line.

“Only call your husband by the wrong name for a week and see how he likes it,” one commenter quipped. 

Another gave a more empathetic response, pressing that the interaction is so out of the norm, there could be something medical going on with MIL. “I’d switch it up and focus on being concerned. What’s wrong with MIL? Is it dementia? Is it a brain tumour? She should be going to a doctor to get checked out, if she doesn’t realize how disrespectful and inappropriate her behaviour is.”

Why the Mother-in-Law’s Choice to Not Use the Baby’s Name Is Totally Inappropriate

Overwhelmingly, commenters agreed that grandparents aren’t entitled to just give a child a new name because they don’t like the one their parents chose. I mean, duh? While we all know mother-in-laws can be an opinionated bunch, the issue isn’t something that she had strong feelings about, like that her grandchild should be breastfed instead of bottle fed because she’s worried about nutrition.

An MIL voicing her opinion in that situation wouldn’t be cool, either, but a far more understandable conversation, at least because it’s based on a difference of opinion—the name on a child’s birth certificate on the other hand, is a matter of fact. 

If there isn’t a serious medical complication underlying this argument, the name debate in this case seems like a desperate grab for control. And sure, control can be tough to give up when you go from being a parent to a grandparent—but most grandparents get the hang of it eventually, prioritizing their new grandchild over their hurt feelings. 

It should be intuitive to most people who are thinking clearly that new parents, excited about their first baby and their name choice, would likely have a very tough time shaking it off every time they have to listen to a family member call their child a random name they don’t have permission or even intelligible reason to call their baby.

Not to mention, in all of the out-there names we hear these days, Elijah is not even controversial. It’s a classic. It’s hard not to like. But it doesn’t matter if MIL loves it or hates it. It is his name, and she needs to get on board, or get out. Like mama said.