It’s my little guy’s 7th birthday tomorrow, and he’s celebrating it in a few days. It’s his first school year — he only started in September — and it’s been an adjustment. Before that, he went to a forest kindergarten out of the city. Lovely as it was, it didn’t exactly help him build a local social circle.
Fast forward a few months, and he’s managed to make a few friends — not loads, but some. He usually plays with one boy, sometimes with a group of four. For his birthday party, he decided to invite just three friends. Perfect, I thought. Four boys in total. Manageable. Ideal for our small house in the middle of winter, when you can’t exactly boot them into the garden to burn off energy.
(Note to self: Make a scavenger hunt to get them outside)
Our eldest, who’s 9, designed the invitations in Canva. They were ridiculously cute, and I added the important details, like date and time. My 7-year-old proudly wrote his friends’ names on the back and took the invitations to school like a little postman.
The waiting game
The first RSVP arrived after a couple of days. It was a voice message from the mum of his best friend. I’ve met her before; we organised a playdate back in October. She’s… unique. For context, she once brought her own flask of tea to our house and sat on the sofa in her coat the entire time. (Our house is not that cold!)
Her message went something like this: “Thanks for the invitation, but unfortunately, my son can’t come. We don’t celebrate birthdays. We’re Jehovah’s Witnesses.”
Ah, now it all made sense. Ok, no worries. I replied politely, of course, but my heart sank a little for my boy. He was so excited to invite his best friend, and now he won’t be there. And, honestly, I feel sad for his friend, too. I mean, imagine not being allowed to celebrate any birthdays. Or Christmas. Or Easter. (Not judging — each to their own, right? Still… it seems a bit bleak. Ok, I am judging.)
Mostly Pagan here
I follow a mostly pagan path myself, though not in a religious sense. For us, it’s all about honouring nature, lighting bonfires during fire festivals, and teaching the kids to be thankful for the harvest or the turning of the seasons. It’s joyful, and it doesn’t stop us from joining in with the cultural side of Christmas or Easter. Yule logs and chocolate eggs — we embrace anything that will bring us joy and make the kids smile.
Anyway, back to the RSVPs. The second mum responded quickly. They’re Ukrainian refugees who fled their country nearly three years ago. She’s mentioned before how hard it’s been, and at Christmas, I could hear the sadness in her voice when she talked about not being able to visit her parents. I’m genuinely glad my little guy invited her son — it feels like such a small but meaningful way to show kindness and inclusion. He seems like a sweet boy, always greeting mine with a smile. Plus, neither of them is a native German speaker, which probably helps them connect.
The third boy? Silence. An entire week went by — no text, no email, not even a carrier pigeon. I figured the invitation had been swallowed by the black hole of his school bag. Just as I was bracing myself to post an awkward message in the class chat — “Who is XX’s parent?” — I got a text yesterday afternoon. Hurrah! He’s coming!
So, the final tally is three boys plus my 9-year-old daughter, who has graciously agreed to join in “a little bit” to even out the numbers.
As long as they have fun, right?
It’ll be chaos, of course. They’ll run riot, attempt to wreck the house, do the scavenger hunt I’ve yet to plan, and devour cake like a pack of starving wolves. Oh and I have to make a piñata. Maybe some of the parents will stay, and we can awkwardly chat while pretending we’d rather be on the sofa under a blanket watching TV.
I never realised how tricky it is for kids to make friends. I thought it was just adults who struggled. But after his cosy little bubble of forest kindergarten friends, both of whom have moved away, my son is still figuring it out. I hope he’ll find his stride as he gets more comfortable at school.
And if not? Well, then it’s quality over quantity. He’s a brilliant little human, and I have no doubt he’ll be surrounded by the right people when the time is right. Maybe even his Jehovah’s Witness friend will join a party one day. Now wouldn’t that be lovely?
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This post was previously published on medium.com
Photo credit: Jay Chen on Unsplash
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