Like most teen boys, my 13-year-old spends a fair amount of time in front of the mirror, scrutinizing his hair, putting this or that product on his skin, occasionally shaving his peach fuzz. But apparently, there’s a whole online world of young men who are taking grooming and fixation on appearance to the extreme — and it’s downright scary.
Enter looksmaxxing, an online movement of young men doing everything in their power to maximize their appearance. Therapist Kristen Mosier, author of Restless: How to Stop Living an If Only Life, learned about looksmaxxing from her son and his friends. “While looksmaxxing started as a sub-culture, it’s gone very much mainstream now via social media, especially TikTok and YouTube, which is where my son’s friends caught on to it,” she says.
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Besides looksmaxxing, there are other popular, related terms you may have heard your kids chattering on about. “My son recently taught me about ‘mogging,’ a slang term for looking more attractive or stylish than those around you,” says Mosier. There’s also “softmaxxing,” which is a slightly less extreme version of looksmaxxing, and “hardmaxxing,” which can include things like implants and intentional starvation.
When teen boys enter the world of looksmaxxing, they are exposed to messages about what the ideal male face and body should look like — usually tall, with low body-fat and a perfectly chiseled chin. “Combine those messages with retouching and AI images and they are sure to feel less-then, and to start striving for a more appealing appearance,” Mosier says.
What Are the Origins of Looksmaxxing?
Erin Pash, therapist and founder and CEO of Pash Co., describes looksmaxxing as “the obsessive pursuit of becoming as physically attractive as possible.” To achieve the perfect look, influencers tout all kinds of over-the-top grooming practices and protocols. Clavicular, a 20 year old looksmaxxer, is famous for taking things to the extreme, regularly bragging that he hits his face with a hammer to reshape his bone structure.
Whether it’s jawline exercises, bone structure analysis, extreme skincare routines, or discussions about surgical procedures, Pash says it’s all “wrapped in pseudoscientific language that makes it sound almost academic, which is part of what makes it so seductive to curious young minds.”
The looksmaxxer movement has grown substantially over the past few years, and has origins in the incel movement — “involuntary celibate,” characterized by misogyny and extreme resentment towards women — as well as incel-adjacent movements of the so-called online “manosphere.” Says Pash, “It grew directly out of incel culture, a community built on the belief that men are ranked by their looks and that rank determines their entire worth.”
While plenty of boys who get into looksmaxxing don’t consider themselves incels, looksmaxxing content lives in the same online neighborhoods, according to Pash. “Your son could stumble into it through totally innocent TikTok rabbit holes,” she says. “A fitness video here, a skincare tip there, and suddenly he’s watching content that’s telling him his face is a problem to be solved.”
Why Is Looksmaxxing Resonating With Young Men?
The truth is, we have focused a lot of energy on helping teen girls and young women manage body image pressure, but boys have been left to navigate this on their own, Pash says. Yet there is just as much pressure on boys to look a certain way and hone their appearance as there is on girls.
Likewise, going to more extreme measures to alter one’s appearance isn’t just confined to women and girls. A new survey from the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS) highlighted the fact that 95% of facial plastic surgeons treated male patients in 2025, an increase from 92% in 2024. The survey found that rhinoplasty (nose jobs) is the most popular facial surgery among men, while other popular surgeries for men include blepharoplasty (eye lifts), facelifts, forehead lifts, and hair transplants.
The trends indicate why looksmaxxing can be so appealing to these young men, as it gives them a space to air out their insecurities and to feel supported by others. “It offers community, a sense of control, and a concrete plan, which is incredibly appealing to a teenager who feels lost or rejected,” Pash says.
Andrew Levey, a therapist at LightLine who specializes in working with adolescent boys and young adult men, agrees. “The teenage years are often about gaining independence, finding one’s identity, and experimenting socially and romantically,” he says. “Looksmaxxing may resonate with young men and teens seeking validation about their appearance and wanting to be noticed by others.”
What Are The Risks of Looksmaxxing?
Looksmaxxing is definitely concerning, but the question is: How worried do parents really need to be about it?
Parents should absolutely pay attention to what’s going on with their teen son, but panicking doesn’t do much good, Pash says. “What I’d want any parent to know is that the behavior is usually a signal, not the problem itself,” she notes. “If your son is deep in this content, the real question is what’s going on underneath. Loneliness? Social anxiety? A need to feel like he belongs somewhere? That’s where the real conversation needs to happen.”
According to Levey, in some ways, focusing on your appearance is natural, and there are even some healthy aspects to it. “Teen boys and young men who are trying to looksmaxx may find themselves going to the gym, eating better, and engaging in healthier habits, which can lead to higher confidence and improved physical and mental health,” he says.
The problem is when the behaviors become unhealthy, which they often do in the world of looksmaxxing. “Teens who are trying to looksmaxx may over-exert themselves in the gym, restrict food, or become overly obsessive with appearance,” Levey warns.
But it’s not just physical health problems that often go along with looksmaxxing. Such content can increase anxiety, lower self-esteem, and create body images and body dysmorphia when the focus on appearance becomes excessive and obsessive, Levely says.
What worries Pash most is the way looksmaxxing trains boys to pick themselves apart. “You’re literally teaching a teenager to stare at his face and find flaws, and that’s the cognitive pattern behind body dysmorphia, a condition where someone becomes so fixated on a perceived flaw that it starts running their life,” she says. “I’ve worked with clients who can’t leave the house, can’t focus in school, can’t be present in relationships because of this kind of spiral.”
What Can Parents Do to Support Their Teens?
Self-acceptance isn’t just something that happens overnight. It’s something you can build, alongside your child. “Boys who have at least one adult in their corner, someone who sees them as a whole person and not just their grades or their looks, are so much more resilient,” Pash shares.
Levey suggests that parents support their teens by “having an honest dialogue about habits to build a healthy lifestyle and by emphasizing the importance of building self-esteem in areas beyond appearance.” That might look like helping your teen son build an identity around music, exercise, cooking, sports, reading, or simply being a good friend or family member.
Parents can also engage in honest conversations with their sons about what they are seeing online and how they are feeling about it all. So, how to do this?
First, if you want to talk specifically and openly about looksmaxxing or other concerning social trends. Pash recommends not leading with alarm, because the moment your teen senses you are panicking or judging him, the conversation is over. Instead, she recommends starting with genuine curiosity, saying something like, “Hey, I keep seeing this looksmaxxing thing everywhere, what’s that about?” This allows you to enter his world, not interrogate him.
After this, it’s all about having an ongoing dialogue, so that you’ve built up trust with your son. This might look like staying interested in what he watches and talks about and having continuing, low-pressure conversations so that there’s always a pathway in — so your son will feel comfortable talking when something more challenging comes up, Pash says.
Warning signs that something more serious is going on include withdrawal, obsessing over appearance, or talking about more extreme measures to alter appearance. If these red flags come up, Pash says it’s time to get a professional, like a licensed therapist, involved. “You don’t have to have all the answers,” she empathizes. “You just have to make sure he knows the door is open.”